Teacher Burn-out

The straight path to teacher burnout goes right through the district and the high school I work at.  There – I said it aloud to the public internets. My school and my district is burning me out.

I worked a 13 hour day this past week, and the rest were 10 hour days. These long days *only* include teaching five 60 minute periods, planning 3 different lesson plans (one of which is a college level course), and depending on the day, giving 100% attention to one hour-long department/grade level/staff/team meetings, and tutoring students during after school and lunch time office hours, all without a lunch break because students first. By the time my day ended at 8:30pm last Tuesday, with all lessons ready for the next day, I felt so stressed I could barely talk and when I could, it was only to pick a frustration fight with B.

One of the values I hear constantly in my school district is “students first”.  I’m totally on board with this – my teaching should be centered around what students need and how to facilitate their learning. But what it feels like, is students first, at the expense of teachers. It feels like we have a constant revolving door of teachers at my school, especially in the science department. In our district, there was a 22% teacher turnover rate from 14/15 to 15/16, well above the national average of 14%. At my high school, the science department has experienced an average 50% turnover for the past 5 years.

So what is the plan for teacher burnout? There doesn’t seem to be any plan in my district to retain teachers at all farther than “we are the highest paying district in the area” (which isn’t saying much, actually). This past week, our district superintendent came to visit for a Q & A session (don’t even get me started on how set up and fake it all felt), and when asked about his plan for teacher burnout and such low retention rates, he pulled a smooth move and basically said a lot of things without saying anything at all. Frankly I’m surprised my district is not more proactive about teacher retention, considering how costly a revolving door of teachers can be. I don’t even want more money – I just want the time and space to grow and be a better teacher. At least with my admin I feel heard, but not helped.

Instead, I’ve gone searching for help myself. I hosted a learning lab today where a group of experienced teachers came to watch a lesson in my class. Afterwards, we all debriefed, did some research, and discussed ways to increase thinking and build more inquiry into a science lesson. It was all together extremely inspiring, and I’ve agreed to host another learning lab in a couple weeks. I’ve also been asking teachers how they plan and will be searching more into how I can streamline my planning process and make it more efficient.  Lastly, I really need to just be ok with having mediocre lecture based lessons sometimes, because those are the ones I can get done quickly. It’s the only way I’ll be able to keep my sanity and not harbor bitterness, which leads to burnout.

Sorry for the big rant, readers, but I reached a big breaking point this past week. I need some self care, and some time. I will pull through. In the mean time, here are some old photos from before the break that I never got around to posting.  The dress is from Anthropologie, and the colorful pattern is really not my usual thing. But I loved the embroidery, and it just felt special, so I snapped it up from the sale section.

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glasses: warby parker – dress and tights: anthropologie – boots: dr. martins

Snow Day

We’ve already had a snow day here in Denver!  Our last week of school before the winter break was finals week – and we had a snow day right in the middle of it.  Timing wasn’t great, but having a surprise day off is totally amazing.  It snowed about a foot that day.  Now it may not seem like it, but I do in fact have a life outside of my classroom (see my instagram for proof) and I do wear clothes everyday.  I have every intention of blogging more outside of the classroom in 2016, so I’m starting now.  I set up the tripod in the backyard, and stood outside in the snow.  B looks at me funny when I do this, but OH WELL.

I got out of my pajamas on this snow day just to go to the mall for some Christmas shopping.  Basic t-shirt and jeans thing.  It was snowing like crazy, but Denver hardly ever feels all that cold.  It is cold, and it does snow here (lots), but its so much more pleasant and “winter wonderland-ish” compared to the biting, icy, miserable sleet that would happen in New York City.

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beanie and cardigan: uniqlo – hoodie: threadless – t shirt: threads for thought – jeans: h&m – belt: gap – boots: dr. martins

Kicks

I want to start off with a heartfelt appreciation for all the supportive comments in my last post.  It had been a month of struggles and I was at a particularly low point.  I guess I really needed words of encouragement from fellow teachers, and the advice really helped me feel like I’m not alone with these issues.  At my last school in Brooklyn, the small staff regularly ate lunch together and I always felt supported and encouraged by my peers every day.  We’d spend those 30 minutes sharing stories, ideas and giving advice.  In hindsight, those lunches really helped support me both as an educator and an emotional human being.  That lunch culture is not really established at my current school, so I find that I can go an entire day without any more than a “hello” type interaction with adults at school.  I need to set up some lunch dates!

Things have been going much better these past few days.  Classes have been running smoothly, I’ve had positive interactions with almost all of my students, and I had a couple restorative conferences with individual students that helped clear the air.  Also, students are turning in heaps of late work and raising their grades, which helps boost morale in the classroom.  Things are on the up and up – though I’m still not sure if this school is the right fit for me.  TIme will tell.

In other news, I did a bit of retail therapy this past weekend.  I got myself some new kickers.  I’ve been wanting a pair of 8 eye Docs, but I’ve always been held back by my ridiculous boot collection and the price.  So when I saw that I had a $20 gift card and they were on sale for less than $100 at Nordstrom, I caved.  Plus, B was out of town and he’s usually my voice of reason on how I don’t need anything.  While at the mall, I popped into J.Crew where they were having one of their 30% off sale prices events.  I picked up this adult version of a sweatshirt – it’s merino wool and ridiculously soft and comfortable (J.Crew Collection).  With the sale and my educator discount, this sweater was practically free super cheap!

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The ever present pencil in my hair – it’s the only way I can keep track of fit.kickers4

scarf: super old no brand – sweater: j.crew – jeans: uniqlo – boots: dr. martens